I know my title may seem harsh but as a female myself, I do think it is true!
I have always got on better with the male species and I find ‘some’ women extremely hard work . I don’t think it has ever been a conscious effort to get on better with men, it has just always come more naturally for me, for example, thinking back at school, I got invited to a boys 10th Birthday party at the Beefeater! (oh the glamour!) My mum dropped me into the restaurant and I walked in to find myself surrounded by a big long table, full of just boys, no girls, other than me! I don’t think I really thought anything of it, as Ricky always treated me like ‘one of the boys’ and that is how it has always been ever since!
My sister always has said I am not a ‘girls girl’ and I prefer the company of men and that is 100% true. I wish I knew the answer as to why? But the only thing I can think of, is the fact that I find men easier to talk to and have a laugh with. There are no hidden agendas with them (not usually anyway) They are very straightforward, direct and honest. Mostly anyway. I am sure there are some out there that aren’t the way I am describing and I don’t want to do a sweeping generalization on all men, but in my experience, most of the guys I have come across in my 33 years on this planet, have been as I have described above. I also prefer working with men too, there is no judgement on what you are wearing, they don’t go and huddle in the kitchen at work to have a bitch about you! Now come on girls.. you have to admit, this is what a lot of women do and I hold my hands up, I have done it too and I don’t like myself for it either, I mostly have done it to ‘join in’ and try and bond with these other women as I worked with them, I had to somehow try to get on with them, as it always better to have a clique of women on your side than not, I promise you that! I have been back-stabbed and shat upon from a great height many times in my working life to know, that it’s sometimes just easier to get along with them than not.
I will give you an example, about 11 years ago now, I worked on reception with a girl that tried to get away with working shorter hours every Friday so she could go and see her bloke in Sussex, as it was a long drive and she wanted to miss the rush hour traffic. This happened every Friday for about 3 months… we had to cover each other and make sure one of us was there from 8am and the other 6pm. So for 3 months I was ‘nice’ and did the 6pm shift so she could leave at 3pm to drive down to Sussex (I was way too nice for my own good back then) You live and learn. Anyway one Friday, I needed to leave early, as I had plans where I needed to be somewhere, so I told her early that week that she will have to stay until 6pm that Friday as I had plans. What happened next was something that just didn’t and still doesn’t really make any sense to me whatsoever. She first of all called me selfish?! Then disappeared from the reception desk and the next thing I know I was being called in by HR and our boss. She had decided to put in a formal complaint about me, saying that; I was always in late, I took longer lunch breaks than I should and I also never did anything to help on reception work wise, that she had to do everything and she just can’t work with me any more?!! I was literally gobsmacked sitting in that office listening it. I was also shaking with rage that someone could actually make up so much rubbish about someone when it was not true! I told them it was all total lies and they just looked at me, thinking I was the one lying. I remember them saying ‘why would she come up and lie about all this if it wasn’t true’ I told them the ‘real’ reason she did it and you could tell they didn’t really know who to believe. Anyway, this girl told them she could no longer work with me and and I obviously said the same thing, so they took her off reception and moved her to another department. It didn’t help, I still had to see her every day walk past me with this awful smirk on her face. It got so bad for me, as she has been with the company for 8 years, I had been there not even a year, so she had many allies and she had fed them all the same story and so they all believed her over me and day by day, it got worse and I felt like everyone was looking and talking about me. So, after about a month of this, I couldn’t take much more and went to the doctors and he took one look at me and signed me off for 6 weeks with anxiety and depression, all because of that poisonous woman. I was off for 8 weeks in the end, I only went back because they stopped paying me. But the good thing was the awful woman had left the company to go and live with her new boyfriend in Sussex, so that made it a little better but I still feel like people didn’t believe my story that I was just the innocent party in the whole thing.
Looking back now and after a lot of counselling, I can see that she must have had many deep issues that made her act like that. She obviously was very insecure and decided to take it out on me as she didn’t get her own way and can you believe I still have to see her at ‘family occasions’ as she is my boyfriends 2nd cousin!! Rah! I smile and ignore by the way, you have to feel sorry for her, but trying to forgive the hell she put me through is bloody hard.
So, my question is.. Can you imagine men ever acting this way? The answer is no, not the majority anyway. Men are simple creatures and I mean that in the nicest possible way, simple is good, no hidden agenda, no bitchiness, they just say it how it is and sometimes that can be tough too, but isn’t it better that way?
I read in so many magazines that we should embrace ‘sisterhood’ – a word I despise by the way!! But how can we embrace it if we are constantly on our guard that the friend, colleague or acquaintance, will have a hidden agenda or stab you in the back at any given opportunity. I have tried my very best to get on with more women, but in doing so, I have ended up with having some pretty stressful, horrible experiences, so I do have my barriers up at all times. Hands up how many women have had other woman looking them up and down on the tube, train, in the street etc…? I for one, have had a lot of this and it makes me feel uncomfortable and paranoid, I know I shouldn’t give a stuff, but come on, it bothers everyone, doesn’t it?
Now, for the positive spin on women…;o) Guess what? There are some bloody great ones out there too. I have found some gems that are keepers and I do feel very lucky that I do have them in my life, but there isn’t many out there that fit the bill.. I have met too many bitches in my time, to have anyone change my mind on this one as of yet! I like to be proved wrong though! I unfortunately do have a few more awful stories to tell you about women and me, but I will save that for part two maybe…
As for women bosses?? Don’t even get me started on that one!