… well I don’t actually know if they do? I think a good few people get married to tick that important box and to have that one day where they can have all the attention on them and for people to tell them how gorgeous they look (the women mostly) Men I think go along with it, as it keeps their partners happy and it is the done thing to do, right?
Well, I don’t think it is. I am happily living in sin with my boyfriend who I have been going out with for nearly 10 years. We could have got married numerous times, but each time, we have asked ourselves why, what is the point to it? Neither of us are religious and neither of us fancy a contract drawn up to say you now must stay together forever. Obviously, we want to stay together forever and live happily ever after, but this is life I am talking about, life isn’t always smelling of roses. I just could not think of anything worse than going through a divorce and the money it could cost. I have seen enough of them in my time, to know that marriage is not all that is is cracked up to be. I have seen a lot of people be blissfully happy in a non-married relationship, for it to then crumble as soon as they have been married for a few years, as I think the ‘pressure’ gets to them that they now have to be happily ever after otherwise the big fat D word will be on the cards!
Now, I am not saying once you are married, it should be all roses. All relationships have their ups and downs, but I think some people just jump into it without thinking too much of the ‘aftermoon’ The coming back down to earth once all the pictures have been shown to all of sundry, the wedding DVD has been played a few hundred times! Zzzz…
Yes, you can say I am not a die hard romantic. Weddings do always make me cry but maybe that’s because I am secretly thinking ‘DON’T DO IT’ save your souls! OK, a bit too dramatic, but you get what I am saying. I think so many people marry for the wrong reasons and it is a shame. I see so many people ‘trapped’ in unhappy marriages because they stand to lose too much if they want a divorce. I know, it would be pretty much the same if you weren’t married but you wouldn’t have to say that dreaded D word to anyone, it would be just be ‘split up’ to me, that is easier to say and deal with, than knowing you may have wasted all that money and effort on your big day!
Ok, so I will stop being so cynical now… Yes,maybe one day me and my man will get married, but not one person will know about it, until after the event! and the only reason we would marry is so that we all had the same surname if we had children…how unromantic I know, but I have never been one, even since I was a little girl to dream about my ‘big day’ My sister had the marriage barbie, I had the tom boy Cindy and cut all her off too! (yes I must have had issues as a child) I just could not think of anything worse than everyone looking at me all day, me having to put on a smile that would make my jaw ache and also make sure everyone else is having a good time! No thank you. Eloping sounds like a much better idea to me!
I know, a lot of people may disagree with this post and that is good, it would be so dull if we were all the same. I know some marriages are built to last and some people do marry for the ‘right’ reasons but I am just being realistic, look at the stats below, they don’t lie!
34% of marriages are expected to end in divorce by the 20th wedding anniversary
• The number of divorces in 2011 was highest among men and women aged 40 to 44
• The average marriage is expected to last for 32 years
‘The number of divorces throughout the EU is on the increase, with an average of 1.8 divorces for every 1,000 people’
But, the divorce rate is coming down, so that is a good sign and encouraging!
One of the awful reasons for a marriage to end is ‘adultery’ My dad was an adulterer, so was my mum, so are a lot of people. It happens, it’s life. I am not sure all humans are capable of being monogamous, but those that aren’t should definitely not get married and I am sure they know it too, but somehow think that having a bit of paper will change them for the better and they will be a ‘good’ husband or wife. This is called delusion!
I just think people need to have a more realistic view on marriage, take off those rose tinted specs, don’t think it is all hearts and flowers and just about ‘that day’ or ticking a box… it takes work and for two people to be on the same page. Some people, I believe are just not the marrying kind and that is fine of course, if they can admit that to themselves and not feel inferior because they don’t have a ring on their finger.
So the next time you want to ask someone ‘Why aren’t you married yet?’ Have a little think and be a bit more open minded. Some people can live happily ever after… without a bit of paper to prove it.
I will leave you with this quote…