I have been fairly absent from my blog recently. But I have my writing mojo back a little bit. The reason being is I have been busy creating a new little person, who is still cooking for, hopefully, another 3 months!
When I say I have been ‘busy’ what I mean is busy with all the below, this is the frank truth about my pregnancy for the last 6 months, enjoy ;o)
- Sickness – So, for the first 18 weeks of the pregnancy I had my head down the toilet at most times and felt nausea like I didn’t know was possible! Yes, I obviously knew you can get hit with ‘morning sickness’ but jeez, this was on a whole other level. It was hardly ever just morning sickness, it was all day and evening sickness. It was ‘as soon as I have eaten breakfast and then attempted dinner I had to run to the toilet’ sickness. The nausea, I am not going to lie, is beyond horrendous, I never realised I could feel so rotten, especially when all I wanted to do was jump for joy that I was pregnant, instead I would moan at my other half every night that this nausea was worth killing myself over (yes, I can be slightly dramatic) but, until you suffer you unfortunately/fortunately won’t understand. It is evil and if I hadn’t been pregnant I may have driven myself to beachy head, but because I knew the reasons behind it, I dealt with it and bang, at 18 weeks, it disappeared, I may have celebrated this fact by having KFC or something disgusting like that! But I finally thought ‘Hurrah, I can finally enjoy this pregnancy’ erm…
- SPD – Or another name for this is ‘Pelvic girdle pain’ Sounds lovely doesn’t it? This is something that not all pregnant women get and I hope you don’t as it is bloody painful. I luckily I only have it mildly, but this basically stops you from getting up from bed/chair etc… without looking like a doddery 80/90 year old with a dodgy hips and a walking stick. The pain I can only describe as feeling like someone is stretching and twisting your insides as you try and straighten up and walk. Physio and a good yoga ball helps with this thankfully but it could mean I can only give birth on all fours (delete any mental image right now please!!) but due to the pain this is the easiest way they say, how dignified is that? But let’s be honest here, there is nothing dignified about giving birth anyway and I am sure I will not give two hoots when the time comes!
- Sleep – Well this just goes out the window when you get to about 4 months pregnant, due to a number of things: 1: Needing to get up to go for a wee at least once or twice a night. 2: Not being able to get comfortable due to back or hips, knees hurting. 3. Baby brain overload – This is where you wake up in the night and then all you can think about is things like: What you will call the baby, how the birth will be, then you worry about baby’s movements and then become paranoid that you end up getting up and then can’t get to sleep until at least 5am when you have no choice as you’re exhausted. (This could be just me though by the way) I over-think/ worry at the best of times. But hey 3/4 hours sleep a night is great preparation for when little one comes ;o)
- Bump opinion/ touching – This just happens, people just randomly touch your bump, especially at work, now I don;t mind friends and family doing this, but random colleagues that I don’t know well enough, well, it pisses me off slightly. Just because it is sticking out and is obvious doesn’t mean you automatically have to rub or touch it! Oh then you get the even more annoying people that then have to comment on how big your bump actually is for how many weeks/months you are, mostly I get ‘Oh your bump is so small’ ‘Shouldn’t you be bigger by now’ But this is mainly because I am slim, I haven’t used the pregnancy to gauge on 20 donuts a day so, no I am not fat, I just have a bump, which is pure baby and fluid of course, but I feel like I almost need to apologise that I am not really fat! Grrr!! Now where is a donut when you need one, all this ranting makes me want to comfort eat!
- Maternity clothes – I think I need to start a new business as since becoming pregnant because the options for pregnant women are in a word, CRAP! Honestly, the only half decent shop I have found is H&M but I think the fashion world think as soon as you become pregnant you want to turn into this old fashioned dowdy person as I have really struggled, unless you want to spend a fortune at the designer places like Serpahine and Isabella Oliver, but what is the point when you wear these clothes for about 5 months really? So the retail world seriously needs to create a maternity clothes shop as it would do serious business…. how would it ever go out of business?? If someone wants to invest in me I will open one as it has frustrated me so much!!
- Moods – Up down, up down, up down, need I say more…? hormones all over the place. Some days I am like a care bear on acid, then other days I am like Eeyore that forgot to take his prozac and then other days I just want to cry at anything and everything. I cried at location, location TV show the other night, for no other reason than Kirsty was being nice to the home buyers?! My other half just looks at me like ‘Oh here we go again, get the tissues’ So yes, emotions are very all over the place, more erratic than I ever thought and there have been anger bursts and then me being hyper and singing non stop, so it will be nice when the hormones start to calm down but for now,I think my other half and work colleagues wonder what Claire they will see from day to day. As since being pregnant I have a low tolerance threshold, I speak before I think and if someone annoys me I just tell them and I don’t care about the consequences at the time, it is like I have no control over my mouth! Entertaining to watch though, especially the time when I asked the guy on the train if he paid for my sit also, as he might as well have been sitting on my seat! The whole train carriage looked up and I didn’t care, his response was to tell me to ‘shut up’ How I didn’t hit him with my handbag I do not know!
- Bladder control – I know, such a lady-like subject but honestly this goes out the window when you’re pregnant, unless you have been a good person and done your pelvic floor exercises all your life! I now am wishing I had done this, as let’s just say this… sneezing is not good, neither is uncontrollable laughter… you get the gist don’t you? But this one took me by surprise I have to say and I was slightly mortified, so now I am trying to do these pelvic floor things every day, but not sure if it is too little too late now… but worth a try as trying to run to the loo every time you feel a sneeze coming on isn’t fun!
- The worry – This is fairly obvious, if you are a worrier anyway, you won’t know anything like it until you become pregnant, you worry about every little thing, from baby’s movements, to other people banging into you, to if what you are eating and drinking is right etc… I am sure it only gets worse when they arrive too! But I didn’t realise quite how protective I would be of this little person growing inside me, but jeez I am so protective and when commuting in London I am the worst, I have to have so much personal space and I wish I had a neon sign flashing telling people to stay away from me, as from the back and with a coat on, you can’t tell I am pregnant really and you know what London is like, everyone rushing about with no care for anyone else, so I almost wish I could wrap myself in bubble wrap when I go out as I feel very delicate since being pregnant.
- Food & drink – This is just a minefield… you shouldn’t drink this, you should have this etc… It has driven me nuts to be honest, I like green tea, and had countless of (ignorant/thick) people tell me not drink it, but the midwife said it was fine after 3 months and considering I don’t have milk it is the only hot drink I fancy I will drink it. I just think people go a bit nuts with the food and drink thing when pregnant and go to extremes, such as, don’t have any red meat throughout the whole pregnancy or they have zero caffeine or no runny eggs? I think everything in moderation, no not alcohol of course but everything else, as long as you aren’t going nuts then a little bit of what you fancy is great in my book and I will carry on eating my soft eggs and my 2 cups of tea day!
Don’t get me wrong, there are amazing bits too, which make it all worthwhile, such as the scans, seeing your baby on the screen is beyond emotional and then once they start wriggling and kicking you… well that, I just adore and makes me smile every time… then seeing my other half’s face when he feels him kick too, is priceless and makes me want to cry, so this is why we go through it, as it is worth it in the end 🙂
Plus, I am sure most of you know it isn’t fun and games anyway but the ultimate joy at the end of it all, outweighs all of the above 100%. But yes, it has been a tough 6 months, I am not going to lie, I didn’t actually realise I would feel so rubbish, but guess what…? I wouldn’t change it for the world, as I know what the end result is and I probably would do it all over again too, even if I go through exactly the same as the above… at least I know what to expect next time.
But… maybe ask me that same question in July once I have gone through labour…! Not thinking about it, not thinking about it…!!